Originally, this reread wasn't meant to be so heavily documented, but then I started a scattered liveblogging attempt on Bluesky, so this section of the page is dedicated to trying to reformat the limited text I wrote over there into something tangable and readable on a non-social-media site.
I said I'dd liveblog my homestuck reread here so here it is
Previously during act 4 when the trolls slowly start to pester the kids, I had this Theory about the "original intention", basically the player-troll connections that were SUPPOSED to take focus. Those were:
Rose ◄3 Kanaya
John ◄3◄ Terezi
Dave ◄3◄ Tavros
Jade ◄3 Karkat
Please note the lack of Vriska.
However, just before Descend, and after the fakout end of act4, we get three conversations that instead set up something different. Rose and Kanaya are the same, Terezi switched to ◄3◄ Dave, and Tavros (seemingly) switched to Jade, HOWEVER, Tavros' conversation with her was actually about Karkat.
I think this is the point where the paradigm shifts to what will stay consistent for the rest of the comic. Tavros is shafted entirely and acts as a surrogate for Karkat to come in with Jade, and Vriska will show up to be John's main troll, making the final result more like:
John ◄3 Vriska
Rose ◄3 Kanaya
Dave ◄3◄ Terezi
Jade ◄3◄ Karkat
HOWEVER. This, as well, changes later on (I assume) mostly with the split that John and Jade lose contact with the trolls while Rose and Dave live with them. Karkat moves to Dave while Terezi is Busy. Its important to note that Terezi seems genuinely the most hateful of the trolls which I never really gave her credit for. She kills John out of pure spite and her beginning conversations with Dave are antagonistic to a fault on both ends. I know this'll change over time but it's interesting to note because Terezi's essentially the only one not actually upkeeping a normal relationship with the humans once the 3 year wait period starts (or at least I assume - I'm not there in my reread yet). Most of all I feel like Tavros was done extremely dirty.
He was decently present and emphasised when he first showed up but I vividly remember his relevance basically plummeting at some point and it Might be Vriska related but we'll see. For this reread specifically I'm trying to keep an open mind about her. Usually i just hate her and move on but I want to actually try and understand her character. This, coupled with my new appreciation for Tavros and Terezi, might not bode well. But We Will See.
Also if you read through all of this im sorry this was all extremely pointless and didnt have any kind of overarching point im just jotting down thoughts for the sake of it. Something something im accused of being a light player again
I always forget how fuckinf GOOD descend is. Its such a good animation and its a good sendoff for the fourth act. The fact that it was on day 413 of homestuck existing too?????? Augh. So good. The only thing i wanna know is if the music came first or if the animation came first because they work so perfectly in tandem
I so so so badly want a full version of rose's sburb walkthrough. Her final entry makes me think she wrote a LOT and its all detailed and deep dive-y and AUGH i want that full walkthrough SO BAD!!!!
Be the change you want to see in the world i guess, i might have to write it myself in fic format in order to satuate my thirst for more technical knowledge around sburb. Im still not dodging the light player accusations btw
I never skip intermissions but i ALWAYS skip the recaps. I read them once and never again that shit is tedeus and repetative
I know it's what got most of its popularity, but homestuck's Hivebent arc is sooooo so so so much of a drag. I will TRY to keep an open mind in my reread but I do not have fond memories of act 5. The only good parts are Eridan and hes in only like 5 pages
The trolls are very clearly set up to be "opposites" of sorts to kids. John being an everyman vs karkat's "you were meant for something greater", a long day vs a long night. Theres also something to be said about karkat having a sickle for a weapon while john has a hammer. More literate people can probably make a proper connection here but Karkats genuine tendancy to bring people together and WORK together makes me think the communism metaphor was intentional from day 1. I will probably have opinions about this later down the line.
Knowing the amount of importance placed on how much the kids' guardians helped them subtly through their session, makes me think maybe the same is true of trolls?
The narration notes that trollian is "a new beta" of a program and that the trolls only recently started using it, and for some reason my brain is wondering if Sollux' dancestor has something to do with that? I might be completely wrong on that. There's also the fact that trolls "since ancient times" put a lot of emphasis on kids being adept at building. This makes me think either it was the Condesce's first decree when she came into power, or it was Doc Scratch. No clue though.
Yeah so it's confirmed Aradia dug something up (human paraphanalia) and Sollux adapted the game, but I forget if what she excavated was given a proper backstory. It might've been but idk
Terezi has a lot of obvious parallels to Rose, but I'd like to point out that apparently, on Alternia, theres no such thing as a defense attourney, only a prosecutor. Terezi likes playing with her dolls and pretending to execute them and I never realised how weird that is until now.
Like, she has a strange need for control, a lot like Rose does. While with Rose it's more about observation and psychoanalysis, conquering a foe through mind games, Terezi very explicitly wants and craves more physical and judicial domination. Like she's not satisfied with just winning an arguement or a fight, it has to be accompanied by a physical repramand and a lasting scar. She's sadistic in a way I hazard to guess even Vriska might not be, but we'll see. I've yet to meet her in my reread.
Got to my first [???????] and it's a bit jarring to see. I already know about the retcon but having absolutely 0 context for the way these pages are just sort of inserted in feels... Weird. Not unintentional, but maybe unnerving, if thats even an appropriate word to use here.
Terezi's scalemates are a clear parallel to bro's smuppets, and I think they serve a similar purpose, psychologically. Playing with dolls the way they want to play with people. I can't quite tell where it started for Terezi, but her habitual execution of the scalemates strikes me as a sort of revenge fantasy for her, especially with how she leverages her blindness in order to properly "torture" her plush victim. It feels like she's taking out pent up anger on the toys when what she really wants is to do this to people, people she thinks wronged her.
It's important to note because her sense of justice, at least for now, is a very real one, but the way she plays with her toys really REALLY gives a sinister edge to that. Like the need for revenge fuelled her delving into justice, and not vice versa. I'm surprisingly more interested in Terezi in this reread than I thought I'd be. Usually I enjoy Karkat's pages more but so far hes been absolutely insufferable to read through. Change of tastes I guess. I wonder if my thoughts on Eridan will change?
[Quoting: "More literate people can probably make a proper connection here but Karkats genuine tendancy to bring people together and WORK together makes me think the communism metaphor was intentional from day 1. I will probably have opinions about this later down the line."]
"later down the line" turns out to be a few pages later, because Terezi specifically compares Karkats insistance on being the leader to traditional gender roles. Ignoring the fact that trolls wouldnt HAVE the same roles we have for the genders, it's interesting to look at Karkats need for purpose and leadership as an extension of toxic masculinity, ESPECIALLY knowing that the most toxically masculine troll (Equius) is actually obsessed with submission instead. I feel like part of this all is meant to be a metaphor or a commentary on how the most diehard masculine masc men are the way they are because of a need to overcompensate. Self hatred and a naturally more submissive personality that tries to fill the opposite roles etc etc... This might also explain why both Karkat and Equius have weirdly specific and personal ties to Dave. We'll see though, because I'm still of the opinion that Tavros was originally meant to have a bigger role in Dave's arc than he was eventually given.
Ever since I learned about the constallation "pollux castor" I've struggled with Sollux' full name, which is Sollux Captor. It's so stupid. It's a stupid fucking switching of letters and the constallation name makes more sense in my brain and I keep trying to call him Pollux. He is not Pollux.
This has been a legally mandated crossover of Kooki Struggletweets and Kooki Livetweets.
Sollux' vain-y, brain-y aesthetic is reminding me of fleshchild. I kind of miss fleshchild I wanna replay it someday soon... I've been meaning to replay Yume Nikki and some of its fangames but I keep putting it off, ugh...
Throwing in the towel for my reread for today, I can only stomach so much of act5 at a time
Ok I cant recall if Terezi and Sollux have a lot of conversations, but I really appreciate their faux-rivalry being just a front for actual commrodery. Terezi as a seer and Sollux as a mage makes a deadly combo, and just as Terezi can read Sollux for filth (trying to help him), he can read her for good (seeing her as an almost mentor, blindness and all that)... She accurately predicts Sollux trying to jinx himself with the whole dying thing and I love that detail because she's a prospit dreamer (accurate prophetic clouds) while he's (originally) a derse dreamer (horrorrterror whispers of doom).
Also I should probably mention somewhere that I think doom players get two dream selves as a god tier quirk instead of it being a Captor quirk, because the game wouldn't give a shit abt Sollux' duality motif, but it WOULD care to give its doom players a fighting chance at survival.
Aradia and Sollux' first conversation juxtaposed to Terezi and Sollux' is. For lack of a better term. Depressing. Knowing who they used to be and what they've become, and the toll its taken on Sollux...
"The game has no explicit rule that demands something dead for prototyping. But in practice, the kernelsprite has particular attraction to the deceased or the doomed." This is fascinating. I love pointless game mechanics. I think this is an extension of the "chosen one" narrative players are Supposed to embody when playing. The doomed are the guides, the living are the players. Life perpetuates life and doom perpetuates the system.
"Sollux couldn't know that the virus is essentially a formality. The demon is already here."
I think Homestuck is the only story I've seen that actually does time travelling villains well. ESPECIALLY with the intimidation factor.
Do we ever get an explination as to why Kanaya lives in a futeristic jade-like tower? I know the plants and the frog temple are explainable, but her hive itself is confusing me. Because I recall jade's house was built by her grandpa? Though I may be misremembering that.
I know it's kind of a meme how pathetic Tavros is but, this kid was rendered disabled, lives in poverty, and has a lusus that can't take care of him, and he STILL survives day to day on THE "dog eat dog" planet. Sure he's isolated, but that almost makes it worse. He gets 0 help for things he does daily that REQUIRE help, he admits getting in and out of "bed" is an ordeal for him, and when his wheelchair rolls away from him he just resigns to crawling around. This kid has the determination and fighting spirit I dont think anyone I've ever met has. At his age? While getting bullied and living alone? I would NOT have survived how he has. We dont give Tavros enough credit.
Gamzee and Tavros' conversation before they enter the medium is an equal and opposite to the one between Sollux and Aradia I mentioned earlier. To Me. Where with Sollux and Aradia you're like "god what these poor kids have become" - with Gamzee and Tavros I'm like "god. I know what will become of them."
I wish they couldve stayed normal stupid kids, at least for a little while longer. But this is a story about growing up, and for these kids, thats almost synonimous with death for a lot of reasons.
Aradia is mentioned to hear the voices of her ancestors. Either this is poor wording in hindsight, or she's directly hearing the voices of their actual literal ancestors, which I find to be a compelling as fuck concept.
Kanaya as team therapist is something I forgot about but dearly treasure now that I'm reminded. Girl has like 12 billion hobbies but also chooses to constantly bug her friends about their mental states. Goals.
Vriska's introduction is... Annoying to say the least. But, again, I'm trying to keep an open mind this time and I'm very consciously choosing to read everything she says as overcompensation. She specifically bullies Tavros because she knows he's a suseptible victim, and she has a grudge that she needs to take out on a Guy specifically, because she relates a little too much to all the girls she's already hurt.
It's also interesting that Kanaya has been meddling in their business since day 1 it seems, being the one who gave Tavros self esteem advice and being the one who helped with his legs eventually. She seems to care about Tavros in a nurturing way, which isn't something anyone else seems to do or feel.
Vriskas conversation with Aradia is similarly illuminating. She poses Aradia and Sollux' relationship as being essentially the same as her and Tavros', when nothing could be further from the truth. She thinks all girls are trying to pull fem fatale stunts to varying degrees of success and she's just wrong. Aradia is right in her assessment that Vriska never listens, but I think it's partly because Vriska is always in her own head, possibly as a survival strategy. She plans a gift for Aradia to make it up to her because she feels guilt and refuses to express it in a way that'll make her vulnerable.
The gift is a power play ("look what I can do for you") while also being admission of guilt ("I can fix what I've done to you") and neither are stated outright by Vriska who just claims it's a gift for a fresh start as a new team. The gift also isn't from her only, but thats a different story. She also seems to have a weird fascination with teams (of two particularly), probably back from the scourge sisters days, but it seems like codependancy is woven (haha) into her blood just like insecurity is. She needs people for validation but can't admit to admiring others.
It's probably why she "hates" Kanayas meddling. Kanaya is team therapist and instead of letting Vriska do whatever she wants (like Tavros and Aradia do) Kanaya would actually question her. So would Terezi. Vriska finds this bothersome, not because she's a narcassist (I think), but because it'll break her heart. If im not mistaken this is exactly what happens later on due to a lot of other shenanigains but we'll see.
[Future editor Kooki addendum: her being a narcissist and her having her heart broken by people questioning her aren't actually mutually exclusive. Far from it, it's actually more fuel for the idea that she has a narcassistic disorder.]
One of Nepeta's introductary statements is "if not you, then who? everyone has an important job to do" and I find that so poetic both because of her eventual "discarding" by the plot, as well as her return in sprite form. She DOES have an important job, and it'll be shown to us much later on.
Karkat says he can't believe Nepeta is best friends with Equius when he himself later on becomes best friends with Gamzee. Something something hypocrasy and the well intentioned people not getting the respect they deserve in this comic.
Equius and Nepeta's first conversation is actually really interesting because, surprise surprise, I see bits of how me and Meow talk kind of beneath all their bullshittery. They're both looking out for each other even if theyre annoying each other. They're polar opposites, Equius is a violent vegeterian and Nepeta is a cutesy hunter, Equius is rule driven and strict and Nepeta is playful and chaotic. She sees through his tough guy ruise just as HE sees through her untouchable rouse. They know each other better than they know themselves.
It's why Nepeta listens to Equius, even if from the outside he just seems like a controlling asshole. Because he knows she's precious, and she knows he thinks that, they have a whole song and dance where they remind each other why they need each other during arguements, its fascinating... It's also not lost on me that the hypermasculing guy who Pretends to really care about the hemospectrum is besties with a lowblood girl. He really craves subserviance and in protecting her, hes also protecting what little innocence and whimsy he has left in himself.
And similarly, Nepeta listens to Equius like he's the superego to her id, he's the part of her that craves order and routine (if the claim of her autism is to be believed) and his "commands" are eaily read like pleas from a concearned parent not to hurt yourself. It's kind of touching.
They're seen as the worst weirdos of the group when actually theyre the best adjusted out of everyone. They're self-sufficient and work together, they have loving lusi and therefore stable homes and a stable moiriligance. Psychologically they're not all there but fucking no one on Alternia is, hence why they're percieved as weird. I love these kids in particular because they really nail that narrative beat of "I wasn't made for you, but I choose to be shaped by you" that experetely juxtuposes Feferi and Eridan's eventual "made for each other" schtick that ends in too many tragedies to count.
Vriskas targetting of Tavros during the larp campaign is particularly... interesting. In these interactions he doesnt see her as nearly as much of a threat as he does in the future, and therefore assumes they're on semi-equal ground. Vriska despises this. Her manipulation during the mind control is also interesting because she's doing that fem fetale schtick I was talking about, and it's interesting that she's doing it to Tavros specifically because he's the only guy on their team. She can't even use his lusus for her own. It feels specific and targetted.
He's mentally weak and it's an opening for her to assert dominance, which she Needs to do to win this campeign (corner him so he can't run) and winning, to her, is paramount to proving her worth. It's interesting to assume what I once thought were purely malicious actions on a psychological level for her I hadn't considered before. It's still cruelty, pointless imo, but it makes Sense to her because her brain is a web of stupid lies she's trying to uphold to maintain a level of suaveness.
EVEN MORE FASCINATINGLY, Tavros first texts Karkat once he becomes paralyzed. This is in parallel to Dave texting John, but Karkat's response is fascinating. "Stop playing games for girls". Tavros' masculinity is questioned when he's very clearly abused by a girl his age, feigning interest in him to fuel her own ego. How the FUCK did I not realise all the trolls' dynamics were actually about gender dynamics when I read this before?? (It's because I was 13)
The only thing that shuts Vriska up is being compared to Terezi. Her conversation with Karkat is actually mind-blowingly revealing. She controls him to click back into their conversation. That's unspeakably petty but she does it because she wants to pretend she's desired by everybody. Jesus.
"It's not a real thing" I tell myself. "It's not real and it doesnt exist and it's an m.r.a. shutdown tactic." And yet, reading Vriska and Karkats chatlog makes me believe, just for a moment, that toxic femininity exists. (It doesn't and it only makes me think that bc Karkat is toxically masculine.)
Aradia returning to a literally broken home to begin playing the game at the behest of the person responsible for her death and depressive episode is fascinating, just as her eventual violent retribution is. I love Aradia and I think she's a perfect foil to Vriska
Vriskas formal introduction does a few things. It sets up her relationship with her lusus as paramount to her psychological profile, her roleplaying games implicitly as an extension of her constant need for overdramatics (she would've been such a theatre kid on earth) and her bad luck as a bad habit. Specifically characterizing her as a kid with an addiction is interesting considering her living situation. She's constantly chasing a new high, whether that be in victory or in breaking an 8 ball in frustration. She constantly needs to feel high, as nearly all the (land)highbloods do.
Also this is a small thing but i always hated the little hair streak above her eye on her sprite that kind of looks like an eyebrow but also doesnt. Like girl that looks so bad get your hair out of your face ffs
Another pointless note on Vriska because my wish for a more nuanced take on her has been granted: her obsession with doomsday things seems to be a sort of sociatally-approved outlet for suicidal ideation. Knowing how she dies later on I'm willing to bet actual money on her being suicidal. Also a note for later: she's specifically pirate themed, but even more specifically themed after the fuckin pirate from Peter Pan. This is segnificant because this is a relational symbol, to Tavros specifically, where later on she will try to take the role of his fairy instead, and fail miserably.
I always found Doc Scratch's. Uh. "Meddling" with female players to be offputting. If I recall later on he has a very groomer-y conversation with Rose? I might be misremembering but, yeah. I don't think his role can be understated in Vriskas psychology. He admits himself that he's manipulated and exploited her and I can't help but draw parallel to the fact that this 13 year old has a lot of weirdly sexual language tied to her ("fetishistic" coming to mind fist), it's implying a kind of grooming we never see and I. Appreciate that we dont see it.
The first time we see Vriska's mask break completely is after talking to Doc Scratch, "maybe you could use some camraderie being wasted on you" is the first time we really see the narration admit how self-loathing and pathetic Vriska is. Fascinating that it's done in her exact cadance of talking.
Other than the Virgin Mary parallel, I think Kanaya's lusus being a virgin grub mother that renounces brooding is also just. A lesbian parallel. Kanaya being attracted to exclusively women, in human terms, could never be a "mother" yet she's the closest thing these trolls HAVE to a mother. She has a better relationship with her mom than Rose does though I'll give her that. Like Kanaya has fully accepted her passing before it even happens while Rose. Bottom Text.
Rose is valid tho dont get me wrong, the parallels are just interesting cause they both have a taste for the macabe, varyingly.
MAN Kanaya and Vriska's interactions are actually fascinating. That thing I said about Equius being the superego to Nepeta's id? Kanaya is so clearly trying to do the same, but unlike Nepeta, Vriska is too insecure to accept *help*. She wants to be *stopped*. It's the suicidal ideation. She also constantly puts herself down saying she's stupid and stuff and it ties into that thing I may or may not have properly said where Vriska doesn't give a shit about men, but regards other women So Highly it actively disrupts her relationships with them. First Terezi, then Aradia, then Kanaya, etc. I'm getting huge closet lesbian vibes from Vriska rn ngl. I remember she has an interesting dynamic with John though, so I'll hold off on that assesment until later.
Equius also suffers from "13 year old weirdly sexualising himself" syndrome like Vriska does, but where she was groomed explicitly by an older man taking advantage of her (o), Equius was instead groomed by the society they live in. His obsession with strength is an extension of this, just like Vriska's obsession with 8 balls/doomsday/bad luck is an extension of hers. In starting to suspect a lot of the supporting troll cast are explicitly or implicitly parallels to Vriska specifically. It's also interesting to me that Equius has anger issues while being the most mild-mannered of everyone. This kid has so much pent up rage and yet is so fucking polite. Let him out into the grass please I beg you
Explicitly because of his strength (toxic masculinity) every attempt Equius makes at genuine connection or care comes off as destructive, bad, or creepy. He protects Nepeta but is seen as a jackass because of it. He gives a loving pat to his lusus but it leaves a bruise. He can't even drink milk!!! I say this because I've met people who give Equius a lot of shit for "being gross" and, yeah, thats the point. The "grossness" is the layer of grime you have to get past to realise that underneath is a genuinely well intentioned kid that didn't know any better outlets.
A good foil is Eridan, fittingly enough, who has nearly the same issues and flaws as Equius but is so utterly pathetic and void of good intention that you never see ANY good will out of him unless hes trying to get something out of it. I miss my fish boy i still havent gotten to him in my reread and i'll have to pause for tonight soon UUUUUUUUUUUUGH
Equius has an empty fistkind strife specibus which REEKS of void player, but he also has an unused bowkind for whole bows that he hasn't broken yet. If their session wasn't utterly fucked, I think part of his ascension to godtier would be him utalising Nothing in order to properly fire an arrow. Essentially like. Letting go of rage and being able to meditate and focus in order to harness the void and actually achieve his dream (being an archer), while potentially also helping someone else (firing an arrow in order to help a teammate like Nepeta? Maybe? Brainstorming.)
"Routine helps calm you down" Chat i think equius might also be autistic. Him and nepeta are autistic besties
Livetweeting ends here for tonight thank you to Meow and Only Meow for liking every single one of my posts as they came out love you bestieeee ◆◆◆◆◆
Oh my god i havent even gotten to the quadrants section act 5 is such a DRAAAAGGGGGG
I find it interesting that Equius can tell when Vriska is trying to read his mind. Is there ever a point in time when she can control someone of a higher caste? I know Aranea has her moment down the line but Vriska might have weaker mind powers than her so hmmm. Much to think about.
"business as usual for bluebloods" these people lead such deprsssing lives, I think part of the reason why Equius trusted Nepeta in the first place was because she was low enough on the hemospectrum that he didn't assume she'd try to doublecross him.
I think it's clear as day that Equius fetishizes subjugation because of his genuine confusion at the supposed social order. He doesn't believe in it but fears that he HAS to abide by the arbitrary rules anyway so it gets processed as deeply taboo and inticing. Freudian shit. Equius also has a subtle pygmalion theme with Roboradia, how he falls in love with a girl he made through a beloved craft, and how he finds her nature repulsive but also desirable. How her coming to life is both his greatest wish and his biggest fear. Equius is pygmalion if he was sadomasochistic ig
Once again Vriska's mildly suicidal tendancies come to light in her convo with Terezi about being a killer. She's equating her and Terezi's experiances out of a need for commrodery while Terezi is pushing her away because having her around is too painful. The rhyme of "you lie and you lie and you lie" from Terezi coupled with the "you try and you try and you try" from Vriska is honestly pretty poetic. Right now Terezi is thanking Vriska for blinding her, and she means it, and later on when she LOSES Vriska she decides to get her eyesight back too. It's like she's trying to regain what they had when they were a team, when she still had her eyes... Damn.
There's a prevailing theme of Aradia being the one to make the bluebloods regret and question their morals. With Equius it's more roundabount and EquiusEsque, but with Vriska it was literally Only Aradia that could make her face the people she already killed and really regret it. It's fascinating because there's an equally prevailing theme of powerlessness with Aradia. She always feels like she's getting the short end of the stick and can't do anything about it, but she's precisely the one with a lot more power than anyone would assume. She's strong in a way that matters. My mind goes to the strength tarot card. The woman subduing the lion with kindness, or, maybe, someone seemingly powerless subdoing a beast by sheer force of will. Aradia is a lot of things, but weak is not one of them, and I adore her for it.
Extra fucked that Vriska killed Aradia specifically through her boyfriend. It's the manipulator fem fetale schtick again, I know, but it never stops being tragic from Aradia and Sollux' points of view. They really are puppets of fate in the grand scheme of things until the entire world dies. But I guess that's what happens when you have a time player and doom player combo lmao
Vriska's "fuck you for saving my life" is really the nail in the coffin for me. She talks about how she considered her and Aradia friends and this entire convo after her lusus' death is honestly kind of upsetting for me to read. She really has the psychology of a deeply troubled bully. She thinks the people she torments are her friends. She thinks hatred and loathing and betrayal are the only ways to connect with people. She, if given the chance, would've rather died in vain than let someone show her gift isn't what it seems.
I still dont find her a particularly appealing character, mostly because of her constant downward spiralling, but maybe thatll change as time goes on. For now though I mostly feel for Aradia who just endures and endures because it's the way it has to be.
This is unbelievably predictable of me, but I ADORE Aradia and Equius' dynamic. Depressed girl who breaks stuff just to feel something and the guy who has a big dumb crush on her who breaks stuff to calm down. Oh they're effervescent. Not a particularly good or functional couple but I love them dearly and ship them to this day. Big dumb smile on my face as I read their dialogue and everything. I also love Equius' planet but thats a different topic...
Also the way Aradiabot reacts so viscerally to the robot having feelings. It really feels like a metaphor for her being depressed for so long that suddenly catching feelings for this sweaty nerd is like. Earth shattering to her. I love these goobers man. (i say as i watch a 13 year old literally rip out her own organs out of spite and resentment).
Equius said "maybe I want you to do whatever you want to" and Aradia said "ok I want to beat you half to death" and when she did Equius said "thank you". Peak dynamic.
Wait Nepeta's shipping wall had Aradia and Sollux pinned as ◄► for a while?? Then had "♥??" which was then crossed out??? What the fuck were these kids up to i always thought they were matesprits..... But maybe that was just from Vriska calling Sollux Aradia's "boyfriend"...
BACK ON MY REREAD BULLSHIT YAHOOOOO
Karkat and Jack meeting for the first time still strikes me as oddly sweet. A few pages before, he was talking about how the primary emotions are hate and pity, and he seems to have been sufficiently pittiable to Jack in order to form a truce. It's nice in that weird, troll-hate way.
Ok so I finally got to Kanayas introduction and FINALLY got an answer to the hive question, apparently it was seeded by her lusus, like a seed grabbed from the ruins that spawned all this high tech stuff that Kanaya has grown accustomed to like the little oddball she is. It also partly explains why she loves gardening her hive fuckin grew from a seed.
Virgin grub mother, chastity fetch modus that only gives you the key when youre ready to use the item... Is Kanaya supposed to be like. Troll mormon?? That would be kind of hilarious
Kanaya eventually becomes a rainbow drinker but her first taste of blood is her own mother's. Sort of like how Rose eventually becomes an alcoholic but her first taste of alcohol was her mothers abandoned martini. They both react in the same way the first time too. Parallels parallels...
FINALLY GOT TO THE FIRST ERIDAN CONVERSATION WHEEEEEEEEEEE i missed my boy i missed him a lot i couldnt help but do his silly accent as i read it all hehehehe
But also on a serious note I think him being as aware of his feelings as he is, is both his greatest strength and worst weakness. The guy just gets stuck in his head so easily and is often too blinded by desire to see what he's actually doing. Earliest and clearest example of that is how he got "stuck" in moiriligance with Feferi when he had redder intentions. Man just fell face first into it and has no idea how to get out. He's uber aware of his feelings while unaware of others, and Kanaya is vice versa, meddling with others to avoid hers.
It's also interesting that Eridan is generally courtious with lowerbloods in a way ppl like Equius aren't. It's not that he secretly respects them or whatever, he's just hyperaware of the system and actually Believes in it while Equius' conviction was waning from the beginning. Eridan knows lowerbloods are people too, he just thinks they're objectively worse people than him, no matter what evidence he sees to the contrary. And he doesn't Hate people who are worse than him, he needs people below so he can be on top. The problem is when he feels personally victimized by them.
See here's the thing. I don't understand why Vriska feels the need to antagonize Tavros so thuroughly when she's already his server player. Does she actually think she's helping him by telling him to crawl up stairs when she couldve built ramps for him? Huge bitch behaviour. I can empathise with the overcompensating and the fact she was groomed and the fact she had the shittiest lusus known to man, but I kind of have to call a spade a spade and just say that her behaviour here, while explainable, is also unbearable.
"apologize for being a cripple" might be one of the worst sentinces in this fucking comic. Literally why does she even want him to do that. She doesn't get her way and can't get the people who hurt her to apologize, so she torments Tavros instead? Hurt people hurt people I guess. But there's a difference in the way Tavros is just barely able to retaliate. He says "no" once and Vriska essentially flies off the handle. She's repeating the cycle of abuse she was taught from her lusus and I guess I just resent the fact that she can't see it. Shes too blinded by... Something. Her hatred of Tavros I guess? Her need to feel on top? She just cannot imagine a scenario where she DOESN'T torment Tavros and it plays out the same every time. I don't know how she hasn't gotten bored of this schtick yet. You're not a fem fetale girlie youre 13 and suicidal.
Also thank you Kanaya for stepping in you're the best mwah mwah. Sometimes it takes a toilet threat to the head in order to get your weird homoerotic frienemy to behave. And even then she still didn't behave but Kanaya did her best and we love her for it. She is very helpful indeed.
On the one hand I would also despise if my server player was attempting to clean up my messy room. On the other hand lmao get fucked Vriska your room is clean now deal with it.
I really despize Vriska's berating of Tavros' playstyle, especially because he's doing so well. So well, in fact, he'd probably be doing even better if she wasn't there. But she can't stand that idea. God forbid she not be the centre of the plot. As much as my reread has given me more insight into Vriska's character I'm still so impatient with her. Probably because she does shit like torment Tavros and force him to do as she says constantly. She's convinced she's doing good when she's being evil and she's not even having fun with it!!!
I like my villains loud and proud. If you aren't having fun being the worst asshole around, then you need to fix yourself. Eightfold in Vriska's case.
The whole "the pirate pretends to be the fairy" thing is especially shitty imo. Like for both her and Tavros. She thinks she's doing something nice when its kind of the most diabolical scheme she's put him through yet. All because she "hates" him and he's not the right kind of strong to stand up to it. The narration is in Vriska's voice again throughout it, and it's split between this faux-fanciful storytelling around magical tales, and a cynical hateful torturing of Tavros. It's sickening to read through because it SHOULD be everything he ever wanted, but it's not because Vriskas playing all parts. She's playing the villain, the love interest, the heroine, and there's no room left for Tavros. He's just a puppet to her, a means to an end. And through it all she thinks shes helping him. If I didn't know what comes after this and how it came to this I would've diagnosed her with npd by now. Through it all I think Vriska IS trying to make Tavros hate her. She's trying to egg on the vitriol and hatred she thinks she deserves, but Tavros can't hate people in that way. He feels no blackrom, and it fucks with Vriska because she's convinced she's the most hatable person ever - not even in a purely romantic sense but in the suicidal sense. Like she hates herself so much she has to get everyone else to hate her too. It's fucked. And Tavros, again, just happened to get caught in the crossfire because he was the one person who didn't hate her. Him and Aradia both tbh.
I think we dont give enough attention to Kanaya's breakdown after she sees Vriska and Tavros kiss. It's like both her homosexual awakening (realising she likes Vriska) while also a betrayal from a friend she's been trying desperately to help. Poor girl kept putting other people first and in the kerfuffle forgot that she has feelings too. She has needs. She was stepped all over more than once, as evidenced by Eridan, but when it's from Vriska it just stings more. It stings worse. Because she wanted to see the best in Vriska.
Anyway i finally got to the quadrants section LMAO
Norhings changed i still love eridan all his flavourtext is still so fun. FISH BOY GOOD.
I don't say this enough but Feferi is also a sweetheart!!! She was done dirty by the plot but I really respect the fact she was ready and willing to redefine everything in troll society if she got to the throne. The sad part being she got stuck with a genocidal maniac as her moirail... The problem is moirails keep each other balanced so while Feferi keeps him from comitting mass murder, HE is keeping HER from her true potential. They're the embodyment of the tolerant paradox. She's putting up with a lot of garbage and it's stopping her from really doing good. Can't wait for their breakup lmao
Eridan and Feferi's first convo together's a great parallel to Equius and Nepeta's. Where the blue duo ACTUALLY balanced each other out, we see a clear case of Feferi putting in way more effort than Eridan in the fish duo. He doesn't see her as a moirail so he doesn't bother to do moirail stuff with her. She also has that moment of "I know you dont mean it" that Nepeta has with Equius, but while Nepeta is spot on in her assesment Feferi isn't. Eridan is just a simple son of a bitch who hates landwellers and Feferi is wasting her time trying to get him to admit otherwise. He'd only do it to humour her anyway. He sees them as people, but expendable people - that's the part she doesn't understand. And god bless her for not understanding but girl the red flags were on the wall for a while, maybe instead of "culling" him you could've just kicked his ass. It probably wouldve fixed him.
It's also striking to me that the only real reason Eridan didn't exterminate landwellers during his time on Alternia is because it would make Feferi upset. She was the ONLY thing keeping him in check and I really think she deserved a better best friend. And Eridan, of course, deserved a punch in the face. Possibly more. He WAS intending genocide after all and people forget that a lot. A lot of his own fans kind of ignore that but idk I think that makes him more interesting!
There's very palpable Good Intentions baked into Eridan and Feferis breakup. I love it a lot as a scene because they're both finally being honest, and that means Eridan is being a pathetic sadsack on full display. Marvellous. But on a serious note it's true vulnerability. And while Feferi's vulnerability pays off, his doesnt, because he's weaponized his emotions one too many times for her to even entertain the thought that he could be really hurt. He's used up all her good will and nothing's left. And she's finally free, and hes finally alone. It's that necessary step in their character developments, Eridan has to be truly alone for a while to realise how deeply he hates everything, including himself, and to develop that hopelessness mentality necessary to be a prince of hope, meanwhile Feferi's freedom is paramount to her finally exploring these worlds she's wanted to for so long. She makes genuine connections!!! She's no longer held back!!! She doesnt need special powers or super strength, she just needed to cut off the bad company she was keeping.
And while yeah I feel bad for Eridan boo hoo he got dumped, I also can't help but be stoked for Feferi. She's FR-E-E-E------E!!!!!!!!
I actually kind of love Sollux and Feferi's weird princess and pauper thing. I think I just enjoy most of the later trolls more than the first ones to be introduced with the heavy exception of Vriska. It's just a lot more fun to watch Feferi do her weird princess biz than to read the 20th angry pesterlog from the people who are always angry and sarcastic.
NOOOO NO NOT THE MEMOS NOOOO I FORGOT ABOUT THEMMMMMM
Ok the first one is pretty funny i hope they keep being funny but i remember they were a fucking drag later on
Reading Terezi and Karkat's "◄3" conversation is another weird moment of vulnerability, especially in Terezi's case. Before this point she was never so up-front about her feelings, and I know what becomes of this moment in the retcon, but as it stands. Man. It feels like she got close to Karkat just to smell his blood, and shit just escalated from there. She encourages him as a leader even though she previously read him dead on as overcompensating and toxically masculine. I think part of it is fuelled by Vriska's uh. Involvement. with Tavros, which is a sad parallel. In the same way that Tavros doesn't reciprocate the hate she has for herself, Karkat doesn't really reciprocate the feelings Terezi has for him. To an extent.
To another extent I dont doubt he DOES have feelings for her, it's just... Hard to quite pin down. She delves into ◄3 with dudes like Karkat and Dave once she's essentially worn them down enough, or once they actually have a foot to stand on. And in both cases its almost overzealous of her. She persues relationships to prove she's "made it" in a sense, like holding up romantic affections like a trophy. Meanwhile Vriska persues relationships in a masochistic way, where she seeks out the people she wants to hurt her, platonically OR romantically. It's why she's so cagey with Terezi... Terezis specific brand of "revenge" post-truce is making sure Vriska knows Terezi is Happy with what was inflicted on her. Terezi's sedism is the kind from the joke, where she spitefully withholds punishment from the masochist in order to draw out truer, less romanticized pain out of them/out of her.
Much to think about, again especially considering where the retcon is gonna take things. Still not sure how I FEEL about the retcon but we'll see when I get there ig
IM FINALLY PAST ACT 5 ACT 1 LORD HAVE GRAAAACE
Make her pay is still a banger and a half i love that flash sm
The way Karkat becomes immediatly hate-infatuated with John the moment he sees him is kind of fascinating to me. He sees this alien that's a narrative and physical foil to himself and his immediate instinct is "yes this is my soulmate this is the man im going to hate for the rest of my life". For someone who says he has such a strong grasp on troll romance Karkat couldn't sense the goofball-ness on John from a mile away. Like he went headfirst into despizing him without realizing John would make that really difficult for him.
You look at this big doe eyed motherfucker and don't realise youre about to get befriended to hell and back??? You're slipping on your relationship reads, Karkat!
(2629) I love this panel in specific because you have Terezi and Karkat being fucking morons front and centre, Eridan going "god i wwish that wwere me" off on the side, and Kanaya thinking "Hmm Should I Step In" off on the right. It's so fucking messy. I love these stupid fucking kids. And let's not forget Gamzee sitting there facing their general direction completely unphased while Equius hangs out nearby possibly contemplating what he was doing or why hes standing here but not telling anyone how confused he is.
I'm not gonna be reading much homestuck today or posting much about my reread, but I just need to get it out there that I really hate Vriskas meddling with the humans. She says she has her own plan she's trying to enact but idk what that is or if it even worked in the end.
BACK ON MY HOMESTUCK REREAD BULLSHIIIIIIIT
John and Vriska's first conversation together is oddly . Wholesome? Theres no underlying problems and theres no overbearing playing of roles. They're just being themselves, and it's interesting that this is the conversation where the name "June" pops up. John is the closest thing to a blank slate that Vriska is gonna get, because he really doesn't give a shit about the trolls' complicated ass shenanigains, nor is he disillusioned to the point of being unable to see her as a person. He's just a nice dude that Vriska "ran into" so to speak.
She does the whole "oh youre tangled up in my web" thing but John regards it more as a silly gimmick than a real power move. Which, honestly? Real of him. He doesnt read her for filth but he does see to the core of her schtick - she's just being goofy because she wants to be goofy.
Also this is a sidenote but since no one else but like me and my bestie are even reading these I might move my liveblog to somewhere else, if only for the sake of sparing my moots' bluesky feeds.