Today was a good day.
In fact, I think it was a great day!
We didn't do anything extraordinary, but do we really have to every time? Just sitting together feels special to me, though writing it down that way feels a little silly!
Maybe I'm being a bit romantic about it, but I can't help it! Seeing you smile like that again really brightens my whole day... Isn't that ironic?
Sometimes I wonder though, do you still hate light? Do you hate being here? Am I making you do something you despise? You deny it, but just the possibility makes me feel bad.
I want to give you the world, I really do! (I know you wouldn't need my help to conquer it, though!) I want to give you at least a piece of what you give to me.
Because, in all honesty, I don't know if I deserve this. I can't tell you this, you always try to convince me of the contrary, but we both know it's true deep down. I'm not a great person. I'm not the man you deserve to have by your side.
I used to hope, almost every day, that I'd find love again someday. It sounds strange and desperate, but it's the truth - I craved that kind of connection for a long time. I'd lost it before, and having it back? With you no less? I'm overjoyed!! but I'm almost overwhelmed too, I think. I want to shout my love from the rooftops, but I'm afraid it'll startle you! I want to hold you, always, but I'm afraid of us weighing one another down.
I love you. I think I should mention that more often - I love you!
I never would have dreamed that someone like you would not just love and care so deeply and passionately, but that I'm
that I could be a
that I'm lucky enough to see you so happy and genuine!
I love you.
I want you to know that.
You're in so much pain, and you're always so strict with yourself about it. You don't let yourself just be yourself, it always has to "mean something", or "build up to something"... You don't need those things to be worth it in my eyes. You don't need to be big and strong and scary to be someone who deserves love!
Though I'm not sure how to say that without you denying it.